If you caused harm during war, responsibility and your own distress may seem incompatible. This article considers them separately while preserving the rights of people harmed. It promises no acquittal, requires no detailed confession and prescribes no apology or meeting without another person's consent. Begin with present safety or help conditions, skip other parts and stop when needed. Conduct needs consideration of its own; food, sleep and support are no reward for innocence. Legal advice and psychological care have different tasks. A good deed elsewhere is not automatically compensation. One limited question is enough today; an entire history need not be resolved before suitable help is sought.