# When your loss is treated as less real

After war, attention to different stories may be uneven. Recognising another's pain need not diminish your own. Equal dignity also does not make all events, actions and consequences identical.

A meeting's focus differs from denying others' losses. Not every format covers everything, but its limit makes no current need unreal. A personal story requires no prior justification of everyone sharing an origin and makes no speaker a whole group's representative.

Sympathy neither verifies every factual account nor excuses harm. Origin cannot replace knowledge of particular conduct. Declining harm requires neither forgiveness nor dangerous restored closeness. No trust-testing meeting is prescribed here.

Help guided by need and urgency is not a loss competition or compulsory identical portion. Actual conditions need understanding; every provider's practice is not verified. Substantial everyday difficulties may warrant suitable assessment without complete public agreement or every self-directed method tried first. Immediate danger, serious deterioration or inability to maintain safety requires appropriate available local urgent help.

[Full article on selective recognition of suffering](ARTICLE_EN.md). You may read individual parts. A personal voice, facts, safety and current needs matter without victory in a public comparison of pain.